The best of these are illustrated below.

‘I dropped my mobile down the toilet pit at Glastonbury festival. I tried calling it but there was no answer. About 4 months later my mum was called by the guy who sorts the stuff dropped down there (what a job). He had found it and taken the sim out, called the entry saying ‘Mum’ and then put the sim in the post, so I got all my contacts back!'
(Dan, Cambridge)

‘I once struck lucky and woke up in the morning in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar person. In the morning I asked my beau if I could borrow her mobile to ring my flatmate and placed it back on the bedside table straight into her glass of water. Naturally I fished it out pretty quickly and placed it back on the side wondering whether I should tell her. In the meantime I relieved my thirst by downing what was left of the water. When she came back in I told her about what I’d done. She didn’t seem so bothered about the phone because her contact lenses were in the water! Not only had I knacked her phone but also drank her contacts…nightmare!’
(Mark, London)

‘My teenage daughter borrowed my phone to send text messages to her boyfriend (without telling me). I got some very strange texts from someone called Joe – took me a while to suss that one of my account directors (also called Joe) didn’t have a strange and perverted attraction to me’
(No name, London)

‘I was in a packed-solid train going home from London with signs at each window “Please do not use your mobile phones”. Two or three were using phones, irritatingly loud. I stood up in carriage and shouted to all the carriage “The signs say no phones! So please stop using them” There was silence and under the stares of everyone I sat down. My neighbour about to use his phone said “Does that mean me too?” Yes, I said. As the train slowed down to what I thought was my stop I got up, donned coats and with bags trundled to end of carriage with many staring at me. The train had stopped for cows on the line some miles from my station. So for next hour+ I stood against the carriage door too embarrassed to return and run the gauntlet of those withering stares to my warm and comfortable seat!’
(No name, Cardiff)

‘When I was with a student doing some building work in the middle of a field my friend got caught short and had to trundle off and dig a hole…so to speak. After he had finished and filled the hole back in he realized he couldn’t find his phone. I subsequently rang him wondering where he was with no reply. My mate came back looking rather ashen. Apparently his mobile had slipped out whilst he dragged himself from the hole and all he could here was the dull ringtones buried with his number two’s’
(Jim, Hants)

‘I received a text message on the bus once and loads of people shouted out “Puppy Power” as my Phillips Savvy plays Scrappy Doo’s little tune for texts. It can be a bit embarrassing as I can’t change the tune’
(Chris, Nottingham)

‘Not really embarrassing or funny – but I gave my brother one of my old phones, which I had requested lottery updates on and he can not get rid of them. Considering he is a student and is on pay as you go, it really annoys him. I think that is funny!’
(Sibling, Love)

‘I managed to get my current phone back after a young cyclist stole it a few months ago, as he was wearing a very grabbable hooded top. I Yanked him off (the bike) and gave him a right seeing to (a few ladylike kicks) before he dropped my phone and peddled off. I also absent-mindedly put it in the dishwasher once’
(Charlotte, London)

‘Lost one in a late night establishment and ended up footing £500 bill for dodgy calls to Nigeria….or rather the company I worked for had to!
(Ben, London)

‘When commencing a relationship with my Managing Director that was supposed to remain secret, I auto dialed a company director by mistake and they heard a personal chat that made it rather obvious that we were more than just colleagues!’
(Emily, Hatfield)

‘I once threw it across the room completely by accident (yes, really!), but after it bounced off the wall, dropped three feet to the floor flipping off my bedside cabinet on the way down, it still worked’
(Jake, London)

‘In the final stages of an epic walk across Scotland my Nokia was heavily Tikka Massala-ed (the wrapping containing that evenings curry proved hopelessy substandard as the full force of meal was unleashed on the contents of my rucksack, including my mobile). Fortunately, I stumbled upon a pub in the middle of the Glen Coe range where Jimmy Savell, apparently one of the locals, was so amused by the plight of my late phone that he bought a replacement'
(supper, not phone)

‘First time I lost my phone I was drunk and left it in a cab, but of course when I rang the next day it hadn’t been handed in. Funny though, can’t imagine why the taxi driver wanted to snaffle a phone with a buffy and angel cover on it…’
(Katy, London)

‘My son (2 at the time) put mine in the oven. It was reported lost and a replacement sent before it was found. I could make up a story about how it got melted when the oven was pre-heated to bake a potato but that would be a fib’
(Paul, Leighton Buzzard)